Favorite part of the battle

My favorite part of all this battle was the logistics. I loved buying them big boys’ underwear and tons of clothes to change them around the house. The rest wasn’t so much fun. I should point out that S. and M. are really good and sweet boys, and I cannot complain about much. But they are incredibly stubborn. And I was painfully aware of it, so my expectations going into this potty training were extremely low.
When they first saw the potty they were curious, of course. It was fun to put them on their heads and even to sit on them fully dressed. But when their true purpose was revealed, the two blue potties suffered a bitter defeat, being thrown around the room until they were chipped.

Second set of potties

Then came the second set of potties. And an entire arsenal of books related to the matter. “Conni and the Potty”, “What is poo?” and so on. Unfortunately, they weren’t a huge success. What did work a little were little videos on Youtube showing children and cartoon characters using the infamous potty. Actually, their first reaction was so sweet, I will always regret not filming it. M. was so shocked by the videos, his chubby little face was frozen in a look that said “Oh, my God, why would anyone want to do that?” Luckily S. started to laugh and detoured his brother’s attention.
I have always loved watching the twins do stuff together. And seeing them sit on their potties was one of the most beautiful images I could ever hope for. It didn’t last long, of course. When the novelty wore off, the potties became the enemy again. And then came the opinions. Everyone had one.

• You should leave them without the pampers, they will get wet and hate it!
• You should take them out in the garden without pampers!
• You should take them with you to the bathroom!

And I did all of those things. As much as I “love” unrequested pieces of advice, I tried everything. But it turns out my kids don’t mind staying wet. They did come with us to the bathroom which of course set a dangerous precedent, because S. still does that. So going to the bathroom by myself is now one of my hottest fantasies. We washed so many underpants and shorts our neighbors probably thought I was running an illegal day-care.

Leave it alone

I tried blackmail, I tried turning it into a game, I even got to the point of screaming and threatening. Nothing worked. And then I decided to trust my boys. Ever since they were born, I did my best to avoid checking if they were doing everything at the same pace as others their age. The fact that I was dealing with two babies at the same time made something very clear. Every child is different. Maybe if they had been identical twins their personalities would have been more similar. Maybe not. If these two wonders took shape so close to each other and became so different, why on earth should I compare them to other children? So I decided to leave the matter alone for a while. I left the potties in a corner, went back to pampers and said nothing of it. Stressing them wasn’t getting the job done. I even got angry when other people kept asking them about the potty. And after quite a long time, the day came when S. said the magic words. Mommy, poo! Must go potty!

Another small war

It took M. a few days to follow his brother’s example. At first he watched him, not knowing what to think of his rebellion. Then he started to sit on the potty too, but without taking his clothes off. They still haven’t got to the point where they always use the potty, and they still wet their pants or leave warm puddles around the house. But they also wipe them and take their wet clothes to the laundry basket, and, I swear, I have never seen something more adorable in my life.
So if anyone wonders what it’s like to potty train twin boys, there you have it. It’s the same challenge as for a single child, only twice the “fun”. The thing about twins is you never know which direction they will follow. There is usually one who decides to be more adventurous. But that doesn’t always work in your favor. So you just need to take a deep breath and remember that this is just a phase and soon you will have to deal with another small war.

Readiness is key

You need to consider if you may have pushed one or both twins too hard. Were they in fact ready to be potty trained? Even though it feels like a step backwards let them wear diapers again. However, keep placing them on the potty several times a day to practice. Try removing the diaper again when they reach their own optimal potty training age.

Handle stress appropriately

Some children experience potty training regression, when they face change. This can be related to a move or starting in kindergarten or school. It can also be caused by stress, such as being bullied or the arrival of a new sibling. When the situation is resolved or things have calmed down, the potty training regression issue will usually have solved itself. Try to get some alone time with both of your children and feel them out.

Evaluate your methods

Children have unique personalities and respond to different methods. Some might thrive with a potty training reward chart, whereas others feel immense negative pressure to perform. Ironically, being too afraid to fail could be the reason for your child’s potty training regression. Convince your children that it’s okay to have accidents and that you still consider them to be big boys or girls.

1. Realize that the diaper is wet and think it’s nice to get it off
2. Realize that he or she is peeing or pooping, and will mention it while it happens or right after it’s happened
3. Let you know before pooping – and, later, after peeing

Average potty training age

There are cultural differences in relation to potty training age. However, many children stop using diapers during the day between the age of 2 to 3. At night between the age of 3 to 5. Be aware, though, that this is on average. Some are younger and some are much older.

Be patient and supportive

There is a tendency for grown-ups to think that faster equals better. This is not the case. Children who are pushed to much will sometimes come to a standstill or even regress. Using the potty should be a positive experience, and a child should never be scolded for having an accident. Read more about how to successfully potty train your children.

Girls tend to be faster

When you’re thinking about the optimal potty training age, you need to be aware that girls are often a bit faster than boys. If you have fraternal twins it may very well be that the girl twin will be many months ahead of the twin boy. Don’t expect the same of your children, and accept that potty training age is individual and depends on the child.